Lift My Soul, Mend My Heart
by key2myheart
Summary: Bella? Bella? I kept calling her name hoping for a reaction.  Already i knew what had happened but i was in denial unable to accept the fact. Bella! now i was screaming but there was no response.
1. Preface

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Preface

I looked at her motionless form. "Bella? Bella?" I kept calling her name hoping for a reaction. Already I knew what had happened but I was in denial unable to accept the fact. "Bella!" now I was screaming but there was no response.

"Edward," Alice put her small hand on my shoulder but I shook her off. "Not here."

"No she can't be…she just can't!" I yelled. Still she lay motionless not responding to me anymore. This can't be happening. It isn't. She's not… I couldn't bring myself to say the words for fear that it wasn't true and I'd only bring it to pass.

"Edward. Not here," Alice repeated tugging at my arm. Again I shook her off stepping closer to Bella. "Please Edward I know it's hard but—"

"It's my fault. I came back too late!" I grew angry taking the vase nearby and throwing it into the wall watching as the shards fell to the floor water soaking the ground.

"Edward! Calm down!" But it was too late for that. Maybe it was the fact I blamed myself or maybe it was more the fact I hadn't done anything to stop it. But suddenly every hope I had held onto fell apart just as the vase had and there were just too many pieces…


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If Twilight belonged to me do you think I'd be writing this right now? No I'd be writing the next book in the series! But I'm not so…I don't own Twilight.

Chapter 1

The saddest part was none of my family knew about my pregnancy and probably never would. It was hard to run away from Charlie and my life especially after he left me. No one could ever know that this was his child. It was impossible for a vampire to get pregnant and I'm surprised I managed around it but it happened and now here I am with a half vampire child and no one with me.

I looked down at the baby girl looking at how frail she was imagining how powerful she would be. Carefully I wrapped her in a blanket. Then I rushed off to my car with my bag of things in one hand and my daughter in the other. Despite the protests from my body I managed to get to the car. The darkness wrapped around us and I couldn't see but I persisted securing her in a car seat I had bought in advance. I drove off into the darkness not sure where I was going but knowing I had to leave. I looked over at my daughter once more. It was at that moment I silently promised her that'd I'd always be there for her even if he…couldn't. My eyes left the road for a second to look down at her sleeping form. "Everything is going to work out. I promise it will," I whispered returning my attention back to the road a moment to late.

Quickly I slammed on the brakes. When the car came to a stop I checked her over. She was fine but wailing from the rude awakening. I looked out the windshield. I could have sworn someone was there a second ago. Had I hit them?

Hesitantly I stepped out of the car to check. I held my breath waiting for the worst. There was nothing there everything was fine. Maybe I was just hallucination. It was late at night and I hadn't been able to sleep for a long time. Convinced it was nothing I turned around to start driving again.

I screamed. And my first thought came to the innocent baby that was still in the car.

"Now, now Bella this doesn't have anything to do with the child. Only you," Victoria said evilly stepping closer to me. I knew this was bound to happen eventually but I hadn't imagined it now with him being gone.

On any normal basis, if he was gone, I wouldn't have put up to big of a fight. Besides I knew there was no chance at fighting a vampire. But I had to know because I had something to fight for again.

At a futile attempt I ran trying to get into my truck but Victoria was quicker. Easily she stopped me slamming me against the car. Inside I still heard the faint wailing. Slowly I slid down the side of the car but stood up wobbly.

"It's all your fault that James is dead," she hissed and I felt my head hit the smooth pavement of the road.

My body was already so tired but I pulled myself up again. "Where's your precious Edward now?" My heart tore to pieces but it also helped me to continue. Everything hurt and I couldn't do a thing about it. Then she threw me into the car again and I felt myself sliding across the pavement. Now all I could see was a dense fog spreading across my vision as Victoria stood above me her eyes black as she prepared to finish me off.

Suddenly there was a blinding light screeching of tires and growls as I slipped away my head throbbing. Faintly I could still hear the wailing in the background of everything else that was happening.

"Bella? Bella!" one voice stood out calling my name frantically. I made no movements though. It hurt too much. My head felt like it had been broke in two and my body as well. Then I felt myself being lifted off the ground cradled against someone. I moaned at the shooting pain sent everywhere in my body at the motion. "Bella! I'm sorry! Are you ok?" They were taking me to a car. Wait something is missing.

"Melody," I whispered.

"Melody?" Edward repeated not sure what I was talking about.

"In the car," I screamed as another wave of pain hit me. Carefully he set me in the backseat of a car.

"Alice! There is someone in the truck. She said a name…Melody," Edward yelled over all the noise. My head throbbed unable to make anything of what was going on. "It's ok Bella. You're safe now. I'm here." His voice started to fade as I finally fell to unconsciousness.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed but finally I opened my eyes slightly to find myself in the hospital. My body felt better but that was probably just the pain medication kicking in. Groaning I slowly turned my head to see Edward starring intensely at me. Wait Edward?

I opened my mouth to ask but he silenced me. "Bella I'm so sorry about what happened."

"What happened?" my voice was merely a whisper. Everything that had happened just slipped my mind.

"We moved back to Forks. I couldn't stand being away from you any more. Then Alice had a vision about you and we came to save you from Victoria. We found you after getting rid of Victoria and I'm just so sorry about everything. Please forgive me," he spoke fast getting it all out as nearly one sentence.

"Of course I forgive you. You came back and saved me…again," I whispered choking out the words. Any movement hurt but I knew I needed to say at least that. He relaxed a little still intense looking down at me. "How bad am I?"

"You're in critical condition. For a week they wouldn't let me or your parents see you. Right now you're stable," he said in a rush snarling at the fact he couldn't see me at first. I was pretty sure I didn't want to know what was exactly wrong with me. Probably a lot…I don't feel stable. Every time I move its like being scolded.

"A week? Melody!" I started to try to sit up but couldn't and instead felt even worse the movement aching every muscle once more.

"Don't move!" That's a little too late. "She's fine. Alice, Esme, and Renee are looking after her right now." How am I going to explain everything to Charlie and Renee?

"Can I see her?" I asked.

"Melody?" I nodded slightly not trusting any hard movements. "I'll be right back I promise."

After a minute he came back followed by Renee who was holding Melody in her arms. I managed a smile just noticeable. "Bella you poor thing! How are you feeling? She's so beautiful! Why didn't you tell me?" Renee blurted out coming closer to where I was laying.

"I feel awful. I was afraid to," that's all I could muster to say.

"Bella. You know I wouldn't get angry. I wish you would have waited but never angry," Renee said calmly sitting down next to my head. "And you named her Melody that's a beautiful name." I nodded looking down at the tiny infant. Edward sat silently on my other side. "You need to rest now." Again I nodded closing my eyes happily as she quietly left.

"Edward?"

"Yes Bella?"

"No matter what happens please take care of her," I whispered. He was ready to protest but I stopped him. "Please."

"Ok Bella. I promise," he said quietly gently kissing me on the forehead. It hurt but only a little not enough for me not to want him to do so.

When I opened my eyes again Edward was still sitting next to me fake sleeping. "Edward?" Immediately he opened his eyes.

"Are you feeling any better?" I shook my head yes. Actually I felt worse but I didn't need for him to worry. It was times like this I was glad he couldn't read my mind. "Charlie wants to see you along with well everyone else." He smiled his famous crooked smile. It made me feel even more lightheaded.

"They can see me," I said thinking they already knew that. "What are you telling everyone for what happened?"

"Actually I haven't thought of anything. They didn't really ask considering the condition we brought you here in. Besides we found you like that so it's excusable," he replied before leaving.

A nurse stepped in moments later. "How are you feeling dear?" she asked with a smile.

"I'm fine," I croaked. The last thing I needed was more things stuck all over me. I was still getting over the ones that were already there.

"Are you sure?" She looked doubtful but I nodded. "Alright then. Just say if you need anything." And she was gone.

Edward returned then Charlie following behind. "You look awful Bells," he said nervously sitting next to me in a chair. Edward disappeared but I didn't bother yelling for him to come back.

"I'm sorry…I didn't know you were…pregnant…did you think that you had to leave? If you did I'm sorry. I don't really like Edward for leaving you but if he makes you happy you know I'd be happy for you right?" he stumbled over his words trying to make things between us better. He was taking this better than I thought. Nine months ago…or was it more? When I ran off I felt awful putting him through that but I couldn't stay around. I was confused and felt so helpless.

"I know Dad. It's not your fault." He looked so sad and I wished to comfort him but I couldn't do so feeling how I do at the time.

"I love you so much Bells I just wish I would have been there for you when you needed me."

"I know. I love you too," my smile was weak but it was there. We sat in silence for a while.

"Well I better go there are still so many people waiting to see you," Charlie said standing up. I nodded and he was gone. For a long while people kept popping in and out of my room to visit me. I wished to reach out to them explain everything but I just couldn't. Finally Edward reentered the room.

His eyes were pitched black. "You need to hunt," I told him. He just gave me a sad look. I kept my gaze steady on his face. This can't be easy for him. It's been a long time and being in a hospital full of people won't do him good.

"It can wait. I need to be here with you."

"Edward I'll be fine. I'd rather you be here when you can stand it better. Besides how long has it been that I've been here? A week and a half? You need to," I informed.

"Actually two weeks," he mumbled just loud enough for me to hear.

"See? Please just do it for me?"

He looked at me sadly. It broke my heart to see him like that. "For you I will," he whispered gently kissing my forehead. I ignored the slight pain from it. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"I love you Edward," I whispered.

He turned to look at me seriously. "I love you too." Then he was gone. It may be the last thing I ever say to him. Everyday the pain got worse. Maybe Victoria would get her revenge after all. I laid my head back relaxing my muscles. At least I got to see everyone before anything happens.

A/N: I know vampires don't get pregnant but I promise it'll be explained later. This is a very boring chapter but it does get better I swear. Read and review and I'll update the next chapter! The next chapter Melody is better introduced!


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight never will

Chapter 2

"Carlisle?" I asked following him as he marked things off on clipboards.

"Yes?" he kept his head down walking around throughout the hospital. I needed to hurry to go see Bella.

I lowered my voice so only he could hear me. "Is Melody…is she…" I found I couldn't say it. There wasn't any reason for me to not be able to ask a simple question especially when I knew the answer. Or thought I did.

"Human? Yes all over. Actually I haven't found one reason for her to be any part vampire. It's rather strange but it happened," Carlisle answered. That was the answer I had been prepared for. Could she still be my daughter despite the fact?

"How is it possible? Is she still my daughter or…or someone else's?" The questions kept crowding my mind. Not all of them could be answered so simply though. These were the only ones I had believed to be answerable.

"She is your daughter despite the fact. Looks exactly like you and Bella. I don't know how it had happened but it did. Maybe there are some vampire qualities but she is just too young for it to be seen. I assume we will know eventually." He looked up at me now. All the thoughts still spun around in my mind and everyone's thoughts around me weren't helping. "Don't worry Edward I'm sure it's fine." Then he spun on his heels and continued to make his rounds in the hospital.

"Wait!" I called after him speeding up to reach him again. He waited patiently for me to explain myself and I wasn't sure how I could ask him. "I was wondering if maybe I could change Bella? There is no reason not to right? She is in pain and I feel awful and it's something she'd want."

"Of course you can," he started, "but you can't."

"What do you mean?"

"You can't while she's in a hospital. Wait until she is able to leave. That way she can slowly get used to the change. Then you can change her." I was beginning to ask when that would be but quickly he left blocking his mind from me. Hopefully it wouldn't be long. There was so much I needed to make up to for Bella. All those months that I hadn't been there to help her. Hadn't been there to protect her.

Going at a quick pace I made my way to Bella's room. She hated hospitals it was the least I could do to be there for her. Of course that wouldn't make up for the months I'm at loss but it was a start.

Bella was motionless as she lay there. Now she looked even more fragile than before. Even easier to break if that is at all possible. When I came in her eyes shot open looking over at me through small slits. Her smile was slight but welcoming, forgiving in a way that I don't understand. After all I put her through, all that I couldn't protect her from she still found somewhere that she was able to absolve me.

"Shh Bella. Rest," I whispered to her as she tried to speak. It was easy to see the twinge of pain in her eyes as she moved. "I'm sorry for leaving you. For not being there to protect you from Victoria. I promise you that once you are able to leave here I will change you."

"I forgive you, Edward. It was inevitable she was going to come eventually better that she did and you stopped her than not at all," her voice was low almost inaudible for human ears.

"Melody is beautiful. Just as you are." Carefully I stroked her cheek being so she felt nothing, no hint of pain.

"She's your daughter too," she reminded me.

"Yes, of course she is." More than ever now I was interested in seeing what exactly Melody would become. Eventually she'd be just like Bella wanted something she never should know of. Or maybe she would be the opposite. Who knows?

Suddenly Bella was still. Maybe she had fallen asleep. She needed the rest after all. But my worst fear was realized as I heard a long buzz.

I looked at her motionless form. "Bella? Bella?" I kept calling her name hoping for a reaction. Already I knew what had happened but I was in denial unable to accept the fact. "Bella!" now I was screaming but there was no response.

"Edward," Alice put her small hand on my shoulder but I shook her off. "Not here."

"No she can't be…she just can't!" I yelled. Still she lay motionless not responding to me anymore. This can't be happening. It isn't. She's not… I couldn't bring myself to say the words for fear that it wasn't true and I'd only bring it to pass.

"Edward. Not here," Alice repeated tugging at my arm. Again I shook her off stepping closer to Bella. "Please Edward I know it's hard but—"

"It's my fault. I came back too late!" I grew angry taking the vase nearby and throwing it into the wall watching as the shards fell to the floor water soaking the ground.

"Edward! Calm down!" But it was too late for that. Maybe it was the fact I blamed myself or maybe it was more the fact I hadn't done anything to stop it. But suddenly every hope I had held onto fell apart just as the vase had and there were just too many pieces…

Doctors came rushing in hoping to revive her but they weren't fast enough. I ached to yell at them to take my rage out but I couldn't. Alice relaxed at my side seeing as I wasn't going to start destroying things again. She maneuvered around the doctors without being noticed pulling me along with her. This isn't happening. It can't be. I still have so much I have to do for her. She…can't…be…no…she…isn't…

Regardless of how much I repeated it I wasn't convincing seeing through my lies meant to protect me. How could this happen? How could I _let_ it happen? There was no way I could live without Bella. Already I knew what I planned to do if something ever were to happen to her.

"No Edward. I won't let you," Alice said sternly gripping my arm in her tiny hand. I should have known better than to think about it knowing Alice would foresee it. But she couldn't stop me. They couldn't stop me.

This thought gave me small hope as to the fact I wouldn't live without her for long. It wouldn't be long. A few hours considering how long it'd take to get there. So consumed in my plots at suicide I hadn't noticed that I was in a car zooming away with Alice at the wheel.

Every two seconds she looked over at me as if making sure I was there but I hardly noticed. It's like my mind shut down and nothing would kick start it.

"Edward? I know this is hard for you but whatever you're planning won't happen. I'll be sure of it," Alice's usually cheery voice no longer held it's enthusiasm. "It's hard for everyone but you'll get through it. You _have_ to."

"Why do I have to?" Already I was slipping away pushing past the darkness that threatened to take hold of me.

"Melody," she reminded me. Melody…my daughter, Bella's daughter. My cold dead heart throbbed. Why Bella? She had so much to live for. But through it all I knew Alice was right. There was a reason for my existence now. Whether I liked it or not I have a daughter to take care of. 

"But Bella."

"Would have wanted you to raise Melody. Edward, I know this won't be easy but we'll all be there to help you. And Melody is going to grow up having a father in her life," Alice finished for me just as we stopped outside our house. She was right. Always right.

Everything passed in a blur. The funeral, sympathy, my whole life…

_I was stained, with a role,_

_In a day not my own_

_But as you walked into my life_

_You showed what needed to be shown_

All I could do was think about her. Though she hadn't known it she did more for me than anyone could imagine. She made this long lonely life bearable. Thinking about her though put me aside from everything and everyone. Melody had been decided to stay with us as long as Charlie and Renee could come visit. I wasn't sure how much time had past since it happened.

There was a soft knock on my door. Assuming I knew whom it was I called out, "Alice I don't feel like talking about it."

"Edward?" Rosalie called to me. This surprised me that of all people to come pester me it was her. She didn't even like Bella.

I sighed, "Come in Rosalie."

Silently she entered coming over to sit on the couch next to me. I refused to look her in the eyes.

"Edward, I know how you feel."

"How would you know!" I snapped from instinct how could she know. Then I regretted it remembering exactly how she could understand.

She discarded this quickly continuing. "It's hard to deal with it. But you have to. It isn't all about you anymore. There is a baby out there that needs her father. You can't just let Bella's death shut out everything else. She died. I know you'll never get over it, you'll never forget it, but that gives you no excuse to shut yourself up in your room. You're going to have to face it sometime. Why not sooner?" I didn't reply what could I say to that? She sighed and stood up.

"Just think about it?" Then she was gone. Eventually I knew someone would break it to me but I never thought it to be Rosalie. Of course she was right. It happened but I can deal with that and see my only child too. Slowly I got up and left my room for the first time in days.

I always knew, what was right 

_I just didn't know that I might_

_Peel away and choose to see_

_With such a different sight_

Everyone seemed oblivious as to the fact that Rosalie had talked to me. They all sat around lounging each dealing with things their own way. Alice and Esme leaned over a small crib at what I presume to be Melody. They looked up at me suddenly smiling before walking away. I had questioned at the fact of if she should stay here but I knew she was probably better in a house full of vampires than anywhere else on the planet. Looking down on her tiny form I knew that she was my life now.

_And I will never see the sky the same way,_

_And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday_

_And I will never cease to fly if held down,_

_And I will always reach too high cause I've seen,_

_Cause I've seen twilight_

Melody's little green eyes looked up at me. She looked so unfamiliar so foreign. For a second I wondered if I had ever seen her before in my life. Though she was still young I could tell her hair was going to be brown just as Bella's had and her eyes green like mine had been. Before I had thought I had no purpose beyond being with Bella but now I was wanted for something once again. This time I would be here to protect Melody. She'd be my priority now. I need her as much as she needs me.

Never cared never wanted 

_Never sought to see what flaunted_

_So on purpose so in my face_

_Couldn't see beyond my own place_

_It was so easy not to behold what I could hold_

Carefully I picked her up cradling her against my chest. She didn't stir or cry out just stared up at me. I hadn't believed I could find someone more fragile than Bella but I believe I just have. Once again I felt the pang at her remembrance but it will come often seeing at how much she reminds me of her mother.

Alice suddenly appeared at my side. "Isn't Mel just the cutest thing!"

"Mel?"

"Melody. Mel for short you know like a nickname. She looks just like…" she stopped before saying her name not wanting to hurt me.

"Bella," I finished smiling down at Melody.

"And you to. She has your eyes or you know… I can't wait to take her shopping! It will be so much fun!" Alice continued on but I wasn't listening only focusing in on Melody wondering what she was thinking or if I'd ever know if she took on Bella's traits. No matter what I knew for sure she'd be one spoiled child.

But you taught me I could change 

_Whatever came within these shallow days_

_And I will never see the sky the same way,_

_And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday_

_And I will never cease to fly if held down,_

_And I will always reach too high cause I've seen,_

_Cause I've seen twilight_

"Aw let me see her again!" Alice jumped up and down by my side frantic as if there was only so much time she had with her.

"If you stop jumping," I replied looking down at Alice as she slowly stilled. "Better. Be careful." I handed Melody over.

"Of course I will!" Then she danced off to Jasper who looked rather uncomfortable to have her so close but that didn't stop the smile that spread from seeing her. Maybe having Melody around will help everyone especially me.

As the sun shines through it pushes away 

_And pushes ahead_

_It fills the warmth of blue_

_And leaves a chill instead and_

_I didn't know that I could be_

_But as illusion dies_

_I see there is so much to be revealed_

"I can't believe it. I'm an Uncle!" Emmett cracked up laughing.

A vivid picture of Bella appeared in my head. It hurt just because I knew, as I had wanted her to she had died a human but I hadn't wanted it this way. Somewhere though wherever it may be I know she is happy. My only regret is that I couldn't have been there for her but this is the way to make it up. I had told I'd take care of Melody and I intended to keep that promise. It wouldn't change things but it would help.

_And I will never see the sky the same way,_

_And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday_

_And I will never cease to fly if held down,_

_And I will always reach too high cause I've seen,_

_Cause I've seen twilight_

It was all I had for the time and I held onto it letting it soak up my pain and sorrow to be replaced by something much better.

_I was stained, with a role,_

_In a day not my own_

_But as you walked into my life _

_You showed what needed to be shown_

_I always knew, what was right_

_I just didn't know that I might_

_Peel away and choose to see_

_With such a different sight_

_And I will never see the sky the same way,_

_And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday_

_And I will never cease to fly if held down,_

_And I will always reach too high cause I've seen,_

_Cause I've seen twilight_

Disclaimer: The song is called Twilight and it belongs to Vanessa Carlton.

A/N: I know this chapter is slow. Next comes the drama and mystery behind the story. I'm not sure how much I like this story or whether to continue so R&R and tell me what you think!


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